Is your Mother-in-law not telling you things?

Alright, I don't usually spend my time watching Good Things Utah.. I think it is kind of cheesy.. but today our DM Alan was on promoting Ruby Rivers new Spring menu (I recorded it, so anyone who missed it, come on over lol). While I was watching the beginning, they were talking about Mothers Day, and found this silly list called '13 Things Your Mother-in-law Won't Tell You'. It kind of got me thinking.. here is the list-

1. I spent a couple of decades being the leading lady; now I have a character role. It hurts to be downsized.

2. I know he's your husband now, but he's still my son.

3. You don't seem very confident about yourself. The littlest comment from me is taken as a criticism, so I'm very careful what I say around you.

4. Every year, I send you a birthday present, but you never even pick up the phone to thank me. This year, I said, "That's it. No more." Yet look at me: I'm about to send another present. I guess that's how I am.

5. We mothers say to our children, "I want you to be happy." And we mean that. What we don't say is, "But I would like to be happy too."

6. I've bought and sold 13 houses in my life. Why won't you ask for my advice?

7. When I visit you, I'm not coming for a white-glove inspection. I'm just coming to see the family.

8. When I really want to talk to my son privately, I don't call your house. I call his cell phone.

9. I'm so happy that you allow my son—your husband—to visit me on Mother's Day. It's a long trip and a big expense. I'm truly appreciative.

10. My dirty little secret: I'm afraid that if I don't get this right, you'll cut me off, especially from the grand kids.

11. I'm in competition with your mother. She takes you on vacations every year and buys things I can't afford. All I can do is love you and babysit for you. I hope that's enough and that it's appreciated.

12. Whenever I stay at your house, you always have my room ready, my towels, everything. You do all the right things. I'm lucky to have you!

13. I cherish the refrigerator magnet you gave me: "Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill."

Now this is what got me thinking.. except for the last 2 (#12 and #13), why does this make Mothers-in-law sound like the victim? Like their sons wives are these mean people who don't think about anyone but their selves and their own mothers. And the hosts of the show were backing it up like 'Daughters usually only give their own mothers attention and forget about their husbands parents'. I totally disagree. You all know, we LIVE with Trav's parents.. my parents live 800+ miles away.. we spend EVERY Mothers Day with them, EVERY Fathers Day with them, EVERY other holiday except Christmas which we switch back and forth on.. I know, I know, every ones relationship is a little different, but who ever wrote this article sounds like a bitter mother-in-law who doesn't approve of her daughter-in-law, except for thoughtful towels and magnets. Now, I'm going to copy/paste the 13 things again, and add my thoughts about each one.. (disclaimer- this isn't a direct reflection of me and my mother-in-law, I'm going crazy over the silly lady who wrote this)

1. I spent a couple of decades being the leading lady; now I have a character role. It hurts to be downsized. Maybe Dads feel the same way..Why can't you look at it like a union, like, an 'addition to'

2. I know he's your husband now, but he's still my son. Both me and Nanette agree on this one, wives are #1, but it doesn't mean moms are now #34, #2 is pretty much like #1, wives could never replace a mother. Sounds like she has issues with her son.

3. You don't seem very confident about yourself. The littlest comment from me is taken as a criticism, so I'm very careful what I say around you. Then don't criticize. It isn't about self esteem, we do our best, you have been around for decades remember? We are still learning..

4. Every year, I send you a birthday present, but you never even pick up the phone to thank me. This year, I said, "That's it. No more." Yet look at me: I'm about to send another present. I guess that's how I am. I can't really back this one up, everyone should be saying 'thanks', but like I said, is this lady bitter or something? 'Yet look at me, I'm the victim, and still I'm perfect, I guess that's how I am' oh brother..

5. We mothers say to our children, "I want you to be happy." And we mean that. What we don't say is, "But I would like to be happy too." Didn't we just talk about self esteem?

6. I've bought and sold 13 houses in my life. Why won't you ask for my advice? Because we are paying someone.

7. When I visit you, I'm not coming for a white-glove inspection. I'm just coming to see the family. No comment really, except for TV moms do this to our brains lol

8. When I really want to talk to my son privately, I don't call your house. I call his cell phone. Don't they realize our husbands (should) tell us everything.. what's with these private phone calls anyways? It only makes us feel like you are making him choose between his mom and wife. Keep the secret, hurt the wife, tell the secret, hurt the mom.

9. I'm so happy that you allow my son—your husband—to visit me on Mother's Day. It's a long trip and a big expense. I'm truly appreciative. This one is weird for me.. We know you are still his mom, but we are mothers now too.. Shouldn't our husbands and kids celebrate us for a day too? Isn't a phone call enough?

10. My dirty little secret: I'm afraid that if I don't get this right, you'll cut me off, especially from the grand kids. That is just silly! I know for a fact, this is a legit concern, but daughters-in-law aren't vindictive, well, not the ones I know..

11. I'm in competition with your mother. She takes you on vacations every year and buys things I can't afford. All I can do is love you and babysit for you. I hope that's enough and that it's appreciated. VICTIM! Maybe our moms feels like all she can do is love us, and you spend all the money lol This list..

12. Whenever I stay at your house, you always have my room ready, my towels, everything. You do all the right things. I'm lucky to have you! Why is this on the list? Can't Mothers-in-law tell us things like this? Why wouldn't someone want to know they do all the right things, especially when you just said we have low self esteem!

13. I cherish the refrigerator magnet you gave me: "Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill." I'm not sure I understand this.. but what's most important is DID YOU CALL AND TELL US 'THANK YOU' FOR THE MAGNET?

The point of the article was to make daughters-in-law aware, so that it strengthens the relationship. But I think they are kinda silly. And again, I want to point out, this has nothing to do with me and Nan, these are just my initial reactions to any mother-in-law who feels this way about her sons wife. Maybe, after I sleep on it for a night or two, I will post my own 13 things, but until then, I have done research and found another article that was the daughters-in-law responding-

• Your son has fiscal, emotional and physical responsibilities as a husband and as a father of small children. We need him to put us first. But that doesn't automatically make you unimportant or obsolete.
• You spent a couple decades being the leading lady... dealing with your own mother-in-law. You've told me the stories. I guess it's easy to forget how the old shoes fit once you're in new ones. When I get criticism from my own mother, I can fight back and defend myself. But in your case, I have to keep my mouth zipped or my husband will get mad at me for disrespecting you.
• Please don't come into our home and take over. I may do some things differently than you do, but it works for us and it's OUR house. There is a new woman in your son's life. ASK before taking action - PLEASE.
• If I don't ask for your advice, it's because I truly don't feel I need it. It isn't a personal affront to you . . . I usually don't ask for my mom's advice - or my dad's advice, or my sister's advice . . .etc. Today there are TONS of various sources from which people can find out things they want to know and learn how to do things they need to do. I also enjoy reading and I enjoy a challenge - so sometimes, I really do prefer to learn something on my own. It really isn't about you at all.
• Thank you for the son you've entrusted to me. You did a wonderful job showing him how to love and respect me. Forgive me for not telling you how much I appreciate this

Now, I want you all to comment on this. Tell me which number you agree or disagree with and why. I'm curious to know what you are all thinking. And I want to hear from wives, and mothers-in-law, I'm very curious..